What A Year Brings

Serendipity.  Kismet.   Coincidence?  

A couple of days  before my birthday last year I went to a yoga class, and at the end of the class the teacher read from a book.  The excerpt she chose hit home with me.    When class was over I asked her for the name of the book, wrote it down, and a couple of days later bought the book as a birthday present to myself.  The book is called  Journey to The Heart by Melody Beattie.  A book of daily meditations which I have read faithfully over the course of the year.  I felt like this book and what it had to say to me every day was meant to end up in my hands.

This was not the first occurrence of "serendipity" that would happen to me in that month.  A friend posted a link to a TED talk by Brene Brown that also hit home with me.  I bought her book, I followed her blog.  Her blog led me to the wonderful and creative soul of Andrea Scher.  I have been following her blog and taking her photo courses since then, both of them awakening in me the confidence to be who I am and take photos endlessly.

Around the same time as I was reading the words of wisdom from these women I started my yoga teacher training.  It was tough going.  It took everything from me mentally and physically. Many times I thought to myself this is not what I thought it would be.  I struggled with whether or not to quit. I didn't quit but I changed my course - literally - when I found an astrologer (and took her course) who lead me to another yoga instructor/studio that taught yoga in a way that was a much better fit for me - more in line with my way of thinking thinking and my spiritual beliefs.  It was by the same type of "accidental happening" that a good friend told me about a reike healer that I met with several times.  She has taught me a great deal about myself and has brought healing to my heart and soul in a way that nothing else could.  She would say that there is no coincidence and that I was meant to meet her because I needed to.

This string of people who I stumbled upon this year have changed my life and how I feel about myself.  I am back to finally being myself after a few years of "flat-lining".  All I craved was quiet and "balance" after a turbulent (thankfully relatively short) marriage and the fallout from that.   I feel ready for more now.

More serendipity when I read this blog post on The Daily Love a couple of days ago:

"I was watching an awesome Tony Robbins video last week (love this man) and he said something pretty funny. He was talking about how most people's idea of 'balance' is a flat-lined life. Not too many ups or downs. Just a good and balanced flat-lined life. Tony goes on to say that if you're in the hospital and you flat-line - that means you're DEAD!" We are afraid to let life go up and down because we are scared of the ups and are TERRIFIED and will do almost ANYTHING to avoid the downswings in life. BUT - this is what life is! A series of ups and downs. It will ALWAYS happen. No matter what. You could do nothing and life will still be awesome and sad sometimes.  Heck, even a broken watch is right twice a day."

And so, I begin my next year feeling much different than I did last year at this time. Lighter of heart, more sure of myself, less afraid, and with my feistiness returning.

 

Like a actor winning an Oscar  I feel like I should list those who have been there in the past year (and before) listening when I needed to talk, letting me cry, letting me be quiet, letting me take the time and offering support and encouragement along the way. But those of you have been there for me know who you are,  you know that I love you and I don't need to mention your names. 

October 16, 2012 the last daily meditation in my year of reading Journey to The Heart:

"The roller coaster crawled slowly upward, inching toward the first and biggest hill.  And suddenly we were screaming downhill at ninety-seven miles an hour.  It is, they claim, the fastest roller coaster in the world.  I laughed and yelled and clutched the handlebar. When the ride ended, the attendant turned to us as were about to leave. "Would you like to go again?" he asked. "It is the last ride of the night".  We all shouted yes and rode the course again, the wind whipping through our hair. When the ride ended, as all rides do, we sat in our seat and cheered.
Sometimes things happen. Things we didn't expect. Things we didn't plan on.  An event occurs that changes our life dramatically.  The event may be good or bad, desirable or undesirable, fortunate of unfortunate.  No matter how we describe it, its impact is the same. We step off our usual path and go for a roller coaster ride.
You may have begun a time of deep transformation, a journey chosen by your soul. Feel all you need to feel. Allow your thoughts to flow.  Let your body shift as you go through the curves.  Let yourself be transformed. Enjoy the ride, the entire experience, with all the twists and curves.  Scream in fear. Cry out in joy. Laugh aloud with glee."

If you find yourself on a roller coaster,turn it into the ride of your life.

Absolutely perfect.  I am ready.