Dear Pizano - Part Two

“Grief never ends… But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith… It is the price of love.”
— Unknown

Dear Pizano,

In the year since losing you to that wretched disease my grief has changed. I still miss you every day, but the sadness no longer comes in big waves. It no longer sits on my shoulders and weighs me down. Grief has become like a a dragonfly.. landing softly, but not for long, a brief moment of sadness followed by a happy memory.

I do have moments of regret that do me no good (you would be the first to remind me of that). My biggest regret is that I did not listen to you when I was younger. That I thought I knew better and more than you. Oh the arrogance of youth. You had so much to knowledge to share and I realized it too late.   For you my regret is that you did not have enough time on this earth and in this lifetime  to evolve into what you were becoming. I do not doubt you will get there next-time though.

The times when I am missing you most I remind myself that you are always with me, with us, in some way. Every time I pick up your walking stick for a hike you are there each step of the way. You are there in the shrill cry of the blue jay overhead. When I see Jordan's sketches which remind me so much of you - the artists skill passed on. Meghann's love of language and expansive vocabulary are so like you.. she will always win at Scrabble too. They both will say I have your peculiar sense of humour and most certainly your laugh.

Tonight we will toast to you and remember you well with love.

Jai Guru Dev

p.s. I bought nuts at Christmas, but apparently you are the only one who ever ate them.  I am feeding them to the squirrels in your absence - they say thank you.