Eat, Pray, Love ??

What woman hasn't read the book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert?  Or, seen the movie?

My own personal version of this story goes a bit differently. Could be because I am not in any position - financially or otherwise-  to be running off to Italy, India or Bali to find those things.  Therefore, I must try and find them here in my own backyard (more or less).

Eat:  

Well, this is something I do although mostly to nourish my body and keep me alive -  not as much for pleasure (except for chocolate, of course).  I have a strange relationship with food.  I am not sure when it started exactly,  but at some point in my late teens / early twenties I started keeping track of everything that I ate.  Not the nutritional value of it - the calories.  During my brief  "career" I survived on plain yogurt, diet coke and - for a treat - red licorice.  Survived being barely as I was not quite 100 lbs and didn't have my normal menstrual cycle for almost 2 years.  Crazy, I know.  Now I still watch what I eat (no more counting calories), but it is different.  I am eating (for the most part) what I feel is good for my body. I am trying to eat organic foods - grown locally.  I am not what you would call a "foodie".  I like to eat a good meal but food does not consume my thoughts.  Does that make sense?  So, would I travel to Italy to take pleasure in all the delicious foods that country has to offer?  I am not sure.  But, I would still love to go to Italy for other reasons, besides the food.

Pray:

In the past couple of years I have had what I might call a spiritual awakening.  Deep in the misery of my second marriage I bought myself a bible. I needed something to hang on to.  I prayed.  For guidance -  for help - from something bigger than me. I think my prayers were answered, but I think the answer came from within me more than anything else. I let myself be open to the Universe.  To a different path than the one I was on.  I do believe in a higher power / spirit / God or whatever label you want to use. I believe in whatever gives you strength when you need to call upon it. Faith.. Faith in the Universe.  In the divine order of things.  I feel most connected to that higher power and divine order when I am connected to nature.  I practice yoga because it too helps me feel connected to something spiritual. I would, if given the chance, love to go somewhere and immerse myself in a week or two (or more) of yoga and spiritual practice. I am not sure if my spiritual place of choice would be India though.  

Love:

This one is tough. A few years ago, I thought that I had shut the door on love, and that it would stay firmly sealed shut. But this is not my way. I have a lot of love to share. So, I have once again opened the door to my heart -  to love. This is where faith comes in to play.  Faith that the Universe will help put the right partner in front of me. Someone to love and who will love me. Because although I am open to it, I am not I going to run off to Bali to find it. Nor do I want to.  (Although if I thought I might run in to Javier Bardem I might be talked into it).

Love, right there, in my coffee.