Conversations with Dad

Ever since my Dad passed away I have taken to having talks with him while I walk.  A friend told me she does the same with her Mother.  I am not sure if it is the peace and quiet of the walk or being in nature that makes me feel like he is there, but whatever it is, I know he is.

I often walk early in the morning, and I often walk alone.  The soft newness of the morning before the rest of the world intrudes seems like the perfect time to talk to Dad.  He was an early riser as well (not to walk, but to do program*) and he did like to walk in nature.  I start out by saying "good morning Dad, where are you?".  Sometimes it takes a few times before he answers (perhaps I have woken him :) ).  I will at times ask for a sign that he is there.  "Dad, show me where you are".  At that moment I may see a Blue Jay or  hear one a little ways away.  He is there and that is his signal. While I am not suggesting that he is a Blue Jay, the presence of the Blue Jay is his way of letting me know he is there - this I truly believe.

I ask a lot of questions of my Dad.  Seeking his guidance, his wisdom, his unwavering belief that things will work out as they should; that I don't have to always push.  He tells me to follow my intuition and listen with my heart. I wish that I had inherited more of my Dad's ways.

The disease that kept his body, mind and voice trapped is gone and his energy and essence remains.

He is my companion; always there when I reach out with my mind and heart.  For this I am very grateful.




* Transcendental Mediation