The Gift of Time

I think, if I could have any gift given to me it would be the gift of time.  

Like most people, I want more of it.  More time to do the things I enjoy and to spend with the people I care about.

Time is elusive.  It cannot be seen or touched - definitely not wrapped in a box - but we measure it from the smallest increments to the largest.  Time is always on our minds.  We are either running out of it or have too much on our hands.  Time never seems to come to us in the perfect amount.  When we are doing something we are enjoying we want time to slow down; sometimes we wish it would just stand still.  Other times we itch for it to move faster, watching the clock, watching our lives tick by, a second, a minute, an hour, a day at a time.

If you could turn back time would you?  Or, would you wind it ahead to the next moment; the next day?  Or, like me, would you like to carry time around with you in a box and, when you need to, just put it on a table next to you and have it stand still for as long as you like?

Time is the measurer of all things, but itself is immeasurable, and the grand discloser of all things, but itself is undisclosed.

- Charles Caleb Colton

Traditions the Sequel

We enjoyed our traditions and even started what I hope will become new traditions.  We baked. We wrapped. We ate decadent treats and plenty of chocolate.  Santa found his way in and left lots of goodies for everyone including the cat. We dropped Christmas bombs (aka packages of home-made treats) on friend's doorsteps.  We stayed up late.  We slept in. We laughed. We played games and watched movies. We spent time with loved ones. We were together.  And, for that, I am most grateful.

Wrapping 

Christmas Biscotti

Christmas Eve goodies

Santa was here

Kids, Dad & Jack Christmas morning

Table set for dinner with friends

Traditions

Traditions and rituals are important to most of us.  They make us feel safe; secure.  They are something we can count on and look forward to.

A couple of days ago my daughter was upset.  "This Christmas doesn't feel the same, everything is different".  I agree, things are not the same, but I think they have been changing for a long time, not just this year.  We have had to adapt our traditions over the past years coinciding with marriages ending, relationships changing, new houses, health issues, and busy schedules just to name a few.  I guess this year particularly it feels like our traditions are "gone".

With 3 days to go till Christmas and shopping, wrapping, and baking still to do, I will try to get it together and give us our traditional Christmas.

To me, the most important tradition is that we are together on Christmas, and that we are healthy and happy. 

  

The Tree of Life

I will confess that I am one of those people who spends a fair amount of time thinking about what it all means. Why are we here on this earth, what is our (my) purpose; who or what is God; what is faith and how to achieve it; what part do we play in this most beautiful and merciless dance of nature?  There are many ways to phrase the question, but it basically is what is the meaning of life?

As humans it is in our nature to ask why.  We start asking that at a very early age - questioning our parents, and the world around us.  Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why do things die? Why is there so much suffering? Endless questions of why why why.

In the film The Tree of Life the questions are asked over and over again. We see beautiful depictions of how the world began, of nature at it's most breathtaking and fierce moments; of human nature with it's gentlest loving grace and at it's most wilful and egotistical. 

For most of us the questions about our life's purpose and about faith will come during times of stress, suffering and loss. We do not tend to ponder these things as much when things are going right. We look for answers when we have none. We look for God when we feel lost and alone.  

Perhaps we are simply meant to live without full knowledge. For our souls to slowly learn the balance and the rhythm. For our hearts to trust that we are playing our parts as we are meant to.

I watched The Tree of Life with my son a few nights ago and when it was finished I wanted to hug him tight for all that he is and all that he has learned about being part of this dance of life with grace.

Great Lake Swimmers - Long Into the Evening
lyrics


It’s only human to wonder why
it’s only animal to do it
It’s only animal to run along the rocks
And move along instead of talk
It’s only human to wonder how
And how I wish I could talk to you now

And the words tumble out of your mouth
Like apples from a wild tree
And mine they spy out cautiously
Like a creature from its cave
Our able bodies and able minds
Are animals and things on vines
Greening fields and windy mines
In our sounds and movements

And the waves like lessons
Thrashing over me in waves
Of self-doubt and illusion
Like night’s intrusion
On the daylight of the strings
They gently let me play

I’ve got points of icicles
Piercing into me and I miss your warmth
And the sound of your voice
Like apples tumbling from a wild and windy tree

My body aches for you, and shakes for you
And sways for you
And dances with your little woman body
Long into the evening

The Giving Season

In this season of giving the most important thing we should remember is to give from the heart.  

It doesn't matter what is wrapped up, what it is wrapped up in, the size or shape,  nor the monetary value of it.  What is important is the desire to bring joy to the receiver of our gift. The added bonus to bringing someone joy is to feel joyful yourself.  Giving -  true giving -promotes happiness for the receiver and the giver. 

Gifts given with the heart do not think of "what's in it for me?, what will I get in return?, how will I benefit from this?".  If that is your thinking then just don't bother.  

Gifts from the heart are remembered and treasured no matter what they are for the love given in your gift remains in the heart of the receiver.

As you wrap your gifts in this giving season be mindful to wrap a piece of your heart along with them.

Wing It Wednesday

During my second marriage I  had a fantasy that went something like this..

Make it yourself Monday

Take out Tuesday

Wing it Wednesday

Throw it together (yourself) Thursday

Fetch your own Friday

Serve yourself Saturday

So what if you're hungry? Sunday

In those days I had to have dinner on the table every night at 6:00.  

Fantasies and dreams are good to have, but be careful what you wish for.  

For about the past six weeks or so (oddly corresponding with me starting yoga teacher training) our dinner schedule (or dinners period) seems to be a thing of the past.  Between my training, homework,  kids social lives and work schedules we are rarely home at the same time and when we are I often don't feel like cooking.  I miss sitting down with the kids to a decent dinner (i.e. with vegetables!) and catching up on their day.  Right now I am still trying to adjust to a more hectic than usual schedule while trying to carve bits of time out for myself (usually at the expense of clean clothes or food in the fridge) so I often don't feel inspired to put much on the table.

To try and bring a bit of normalcy to my week, last night I decided  to make an effort and cook a decent dinner that didn't consist of anything pre-cooked or frozen.  Flying in from work I didn't even bother to change out of my work clothes before preparing the veggies and chicken for the oven.  Once the bird was in the oven I dashed off to change and do yoga (homework) for an hour.  It was well worth the effort and probably the best roast chicken I have had in a long long time.  Unfortunately 1/3 of us was MIA (i.e. out with friends). However, I was still happy to put a good nourishing, comforting meal in front of my daughter who has been buried in essays, papers and looming deadlines that she feels will never end.  

Hopefully that one good meal gets me off the cooking hook for a few days because today we are back to Wing it Wednesday.  

Barefoot Contessa's Perfect Roast Chicken - pre cooking

Barefoot Contessa's Perfect Roast Chicken  - ready to eat

A Love Poem

My fingers need to feel both your roughness and softness
My eyes long to drink in the beauty of you
My ears desire your haunting whispers, your silence
Your scent still lingers on my mind, but I am anxious to breathe you in once more

My mind craves the calmness that only you can provide me
My heart expands my chest with love for you
By body will relax at the sight of you
My spirit will delight in you

You will have changed so much since I saw you last, but so have I
We will be closer than before, for I am learning
What is important and what is not

You are not mine, I am not yours, but yet you give so much to me
How generous you are to love me so tenderly and knowingly
Asking nothing from me, just letting me be

Dear Forest, I will be there soon
To reunite with you